15 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Visit Weymouth
Dorset coastline
Why Visit Weymouth in Dorset?
There's nothing to see here!
The team here at Gloucester House (the award-winning four-star guest accommodation in Dorset) have a stark warning for anybody who might be planning a visit to Dorset’s tempting smorgasbord of dramatic cliffs, beautiful sandy beaches and legendary heritage: there's nothing to see here.
If you're thinking about places to visit in Dorset or are looking for things to do in Weymouth, you'll soon see that there's absolutely nothing here at all. Especially if you're a beach-lover, foodie, wildlife enthusiast, walker, wave rider, explorer, or history buff - it's 100% not for you!
Here's why...
1. Planning to visit Weymouth? Prepare for mediocre sunsets.
Weymouth sunset
Why would you want to see this? Utterly underwhelming.
Weymouth sunset over water
We expect this is the kind of thing you can see anywhere, any time isn’t it? Totally not worth the journey.
2. The weather is always gloomy. There are never any beach days.
Weymouth Beach
The beaches are also pretty small too. Definitely not enough space to enjoy them.
Weymouth coastline from viewing platform on Isle of Portland
3. The sand on Weymouth Beach is awful too. It is too soft. It gets everywhere.
Weymouth Beach
4. The Dorset coastline is a horrible place to roam. A real waste of energy.
Chesil Beach and Weymouth
The South West Coast Path which skirts around Weymouth and the Isle of Portland isn’t worth pulling your hiking boots on for. There are a few walks here and there, certainly, but nothing exciting.
5. The nature on the Jurassic Coast is uninspiring
Abbotsbury Swannery
Take these swans at Abbotsbury Swannery. It’s the world’s only managed colony of nesting mute swans… but nothing special. Who would want the once-in-a-lifetime experience of walking through a swan colony like this anyway? This was even one of the filming locations for Harry Potter. We can’t imagine why, nothing magical at all!
Bearded Tit at Radipole Lake in Weymouth
Twitchers would hate Dorset. That’s for sure.
6. And there’s no heritage in Weymouth.
Nothe Fort
Take Nothe Fort located at the entrance to Weymouth Harbour. It won awards for the ‘Best Small Tourist Attraction’ at the South West and Dorset Tourism Awards in 2020/21, but we can’t see what the fuss is all about. So it has mazes of underground tunnels, 360 degree views of Dorset’s Jurassic Coast, and was built in the 1800s…meh.
7. As for charm, there is no charm in Weymouth either. It’s all very bland.
Beach huts in Weymouth
These are the beach huts, looking up from the Promenade on Weymouth Bay… we find it hard to see anything appealing about things like this.
8. There are no places to visit around Weymouth.
Signpost in Weymouth
We really, really struggled to put this local guide together.
9. Why would you want to see the unique architecture of the most expensive coastal locations in the UK?
Homes in Sandbanks, Dorset
Sandbanks is the most expensive coastal location in the UK with the average asking price being just a tad over 1.2 million (although prices can often exceed this). It’s less than an hour from Gloucester House in Weymouth and, with houses right up to the sand practically, we’re not sure why people love it, but they do. There are loads of famous people living in Sandbanks, especially former footballers and older pop stars. Footballers like Graham Souness, Harry Redknapp, Jamie Redknapp, and Tony Pulis all call Sandbanks their home. Celebrity chef, Rick Stein, also lives in Sandbanks and his famous restaurant is located on the main road…we don’t know why!
10. Weymouth is the worst place to watch the world go by
Weymouth Harbour
People come to relax in the charm of our old harbour whilst soaking up the atmosphere. We don’t understand. It’s not very pretty or anything.
11. In fact the scenery in Dorset is all rather lacklustre.
Durdle Door in Dorset
The arch at Durdle Door in Dorset is probably one of the most iconic natural stone arches in the world. Created around 10,000 years ago, it is Dorset’s most photographed landmark. Part of the Jurassic Coast World Heritage Site, it is an extremely popular beauty spot.
When guests ask, we tell them that they can get to Durdle Door from Gloucester House B&B in just less than 30 minutes by car. But we can’t imagine why you’d go there.
12. Visiting Weymouth in the autumn is even worse.
Waves crashing on Weymouth Beach
Look at these waves? Who would want frontrow seats to watch mother nature’s cinema as she puts on a show? Really not very exciting.
13. There is no cafe culture in Weymouth
If you had dreams of coming to somewhere like Weymouth to spend chilled out days mooching and people watching, you’ll be disappointed. There are only around 70 cafes to choose from in Weymouth, and it’s not like any of the B&Bs in Weymouth have nice sea view lounges. I mean, we do at Gloucester House, but it’s not really a place to sit and watch the world go by…
Sea View Lounge at Gloucester House B&B in Weymouth
14. There is not much nightlife in Weymouth, either
The waterfront in Weymouth, by night
In the evening, you may as well go to bed early. Nights out in Weymouth are popular, but we don’t understand the fuss.
15. Foodie Weymouth will leave you hungry
Actually, we can’t lie about this one! The stunning Dorset coastline means epic seafood, while the surrounding countryside provides some top-notch local produce. All that good-quality food means great restaurants. So, when you visit us here at Gloucester House, if nothing else, you’ll be able to get park up, settle in and - once your appetite is calling - head out by foot to some of Dorset’s finest restaurants. There is no shortage of great places to eat in Weymouth! Perhaps you’ll even start the day with our own award-winning Dorset breakfast?
You definitely shouldn't come for a stay in Weymouth…
Why would you want to relax here?
Double room deluxe en-suite with shower, sea view & balcony at Gloucester House B&B in Weymouth
We're sure you agree... there are no reasons to come to WEYMOUTH!
But if you insist…